Time is on my side......Or is it?

March is winding down to a close, and I am far from reaching my goal for the year.  One of life's cruelest ironies is that time seems to move ultra slow when you are waiting for it, and when you're not it moves at lightening speed.  It seems like just yesterday that I took on this challenge and already 3 months have passed with my barely even noticing.  One quarter of my self-alotted time is gone.  What do I have to show for it?  Or better yet, what do my kids have to show for it?  I had to sit down this week and take stock.  I needed to evaluate how far we had come and how much further we had to go.  While I was a bit over-whelmed by the monstrous task still ahead of me, I was able to recognize some definate progress.

Abby has a great deal of patience and peacefulness about her, which makes her a good listener.  Her eagerness to learn makes her easy to work with.  She is still a bit intimidated by the long words and small print of the recipes in some of my books, but she bravely forges on and gains more and more confidence with each success.  I've begun to try and teach her meal planning by asking her, "What should we have for dinner on Saturday?"  I try to make a point of asking her on Tuesday or Wednesday so she can get a sense of planning a few days in advance.  I can tell she is really thinking about it because she doesn't just automatically say "Spaghetti!"  She's also asked for tacos.  She's also beginning to understand that certain meals require certain ingredients.  The last time she asked for tacos, I informed her that we did not have any ground beef.  Looking very confused, she took a moment to process this information and then, with hands on hips, said, "So we can't have tacos?"  Her confusion kind of took me by surprise until I was standing in front of the refrigerator staring at some left over pork roast, trying to figure out what to make for dinner.  It hit me that she was probably confused for a couple of reasons: One, I almost never make tacos with ground beef, and two, Saturday was still four days away.  I'm sure she was wondering why we couldn't just go to the store and get the necessary supplies.  Budgeting is a necessary component to living an independent life, and I do plan on teaching my kids the fine art of money management, but probably not this year.  She had no way of knowing that a trip to the store was not in my budget that week.  My time spent with her so far has produced dozens of precious memories.  Some of the rough edges of our relationship have begun to soften and I am sensing a greater calm and ease between us.  When I think of how far she has come in just 3 short months, I know that teaching her the rest will be a joy, if not a breeze.

Elijah loves helping me in the kitchen.  Anytime I am working with him on skills that require control and a little finesse, I know I am watching a natural athlete in the making.  He is not only extraordinarily active, but also extraordinarily agile.  He's not graceful by any means, but his movements are efficient and purposeful.  It took him only one try before he was able to break an egg apart without getting any shell in the mix, and so far he has a perfect record.  He can beat an egg with a fork without spilling and he can measure out a cup of flour and transfer it to the bowl in relatively swift and easy movements.  As he settles into being four instead of three, some of the spastic parts of his personality are also starting to settle.  Among other things, this means there is less of a chance he will toss a cup of flour across the room in frustration.  I cannot accurately express what a relief this is for me.  I've made the mistake of leaving the flour container out on the kitchen table before, and I can tell you I never want to clean up that kind of a mess again!  Eli and I have been working on making scrambled eggs at least two times a week.  He has mastered getting the eggs out of their shells and into a bowl as well as mixing them up with a little salt, pepper and milk.  I think he must be very fascinated with the way the eggs start to firm up as they cook since he tends to stir them just a little in the pan and then stop and stare for a moment.  He'll continue to nudge the eggs a little with the spatula and then watch for a second, and then another little nudge and so on until I remind him that he's got to keep stirring or they will burn.  So far I've had to eventually swoop in and save breakfast, but I have high hopes for future eggs.  Circumstances have put cake making in our path twice in as many months, and he has been my main helper.  I was impressed by how much of the process he remembered from the heart cake project, and how much more he was able to do independently when making the birthday cupcakes.  I plan to make a few more cakes in the near future to see just how far he can go on his own.  I've always known that the more time I spend with him, the less clingy and whiny he gets, but putting that knowledge into practice is a lot harder than you might think.  He requires a disproportionate amount of attention to the other two and seems to have an insatiable appetite for snuggling and being held.  This cooking challenge has really helped me make the extra time for him which, in turn, has made him easier to be around.  I know working with him over the coming months will be exciting and hopefully not too messy.

On the surface it may seem that I have spent very little time working with Jonah.  While his involvement in our individual projects has been minimal to date, he has been very present in our day to day kitchen activities.  For now, he shares a stool with Eli most of the time and is a constant observer.  You may remember he recently learned to crack an egg.  He hasn't quite mastered the technique, but he's no longer creating little egg explosions all over the counter.  Jonah has a quiet confidence about him that makes him less eager for help and instruction than the others.  He just knows that he can do it, even when I know that he can't.  He's still really young and barely has enough coordination to walk straight let alone beat eggs with a fork.  I had thought to get him a little kid-sized whisk, but instead just gave him a bigger bowl.  It looks a little ridiculous putting two eggs in a huge mixing bowl, but he's able to practice without wasting all of my eggs.  Less mess equals less stress!  Judging from our progress so far, taking the whole year to teach him to make just one dish was a wise choice.  I'm pretty sure he will pick up many more skills this year as he loves to be right in the middle of the action.  Being the third in a group of kids that are fairly close in age has made him pretty adept at making his voice heard and his presence known, and closing in on two has brought forth the more demanding and obstinate parts of his personality.  His little body in the kitchen adds an element of chaos that can be hard to deal with at times, but I am enjoying watching the relationships between him and his siblings grow in love and tolerance instead of  frustration and fighting. 

When I first sat down to evaluate our progression and determine what areas need more attention, I felt completely weighted down by the enormity of what was left to teach.  I thought for sure I had bitten off far more than I could chew.  I have felt this way so many times in my life; trying to add one more task, one more responsibility, one more agenda to a plate that already seemed overly full.  Past experience has taught me over and over again, that my plate is never as full as it seems.  Careful planning and prioritizing clear away spots on that plate that are bigger than I would have expected.  Suddenly, without realizing how, I end up with more time than I had before.  I said in the beginning my kids are the center of my world, and they are even more so now than they were three months ago.  Looking back and taking stock has helped me to see that we have accomplished a lot in a short period of time.  My kids are well on their way to independence in the kitchen, but more importantly, our bonds and unity as a family have strengthened tremendously.  It occured to me while writing this post that my kids are learning so much more than how to cook.  They are learning about communication, patience and teamwork along with many other virtues that are helping them to be well rounded, confident individuals.  Our time in the kitchen doesn't always go they way I expect or plan, but I'm always glad that we spent the time together.

Cupcakes and Scrambled Eggs

We had a birthday in the house this week.  My sweet Eli turned 4.  If you know him personally you are now saying the same thing I said, "Halellujah!  It's a miracle!"  And it's true, I can't believe he made it!  If you don't know him personally, he is extraordinarily active, has a penchant for trouble, and like Houdini, cannot be locked in.  Every single one of our doors has a hook and eye lock near the top, and he still gets out without my knowing about twice a week.  Fortunately, we have very understanding neighbors.

Abby's birthday is in the summer, as is mine, so this was my first time dealing with a birthday during the school year.  I always suspected, but can now safely say, that I was cheated out of dozens of double birthdays.  That's right, I just discovered that if your birthday happens to be during the school year, you get a party at school and at home, which means double duty for mom!  My mother always made us whatever cake we wanted for our birthdays, which I loved and wanted to do for my own children as well.  I asked for a Boston Creme Pie nearly every year, and I know that my mom secretly groaned inside every time I made the request.  She doesn't know how easy she had it.  The first time I asked Abby what kind of cake she wanted she answered back, "A dinosaur cake."  Being the slight over-achiever that I am, I went on-line and found instructions for a 3-D dinosaur cake.  I didn't think it would take that long to make, but I had to stay up way past my bedtime decorating that cake.  Eli was an infant at the time, so I was exhausted the next day and probably didn't enjoy her party as much as I could have.  Since then, my kids have actually requested cakes from the store and ice cream cakes.  So, when Eli said he wanted cupcakes for school and a dinosaur cake for his party, I secretly groaned inside wondering how I was going to accomplish it all.

I recently learned that because of nut allergies you should either use Pillsbury mixes or make your baked goods for school parties from scratch.  Since I'm not interested in teaching my kids to cook from a box, we opted for cupcakes made from scratch.  You might remember the heart cake from a few weeks ago.  It was very yummy, but a bit dry.  I needed to try and redeem myself.  Instead of buttermilk cake batter, I decided to go with a yellow cake instead.  This cake used 4 egg yolks, surely that would help combat the dryness!  Jonah has been watching his siblings crack eggs for months and chose this project to let his voice be heard.  He insisted on cracking the eggs.  I know I've said that little kids are surprisingly good at this, and they are, but not the first time.  Jonah is big for his age and a typical kid, which is to say that he tries to do something first and then asks for help later.  Before I had even finished saying, "Yes, you can crack the eggs this time," he had snatched an egg from the carton and "cracked" it into about a thousand pieces of shell and slimy egg mess.  It all happened so fast I could only stand and watch in horror.  Without giving any more graphic details, I am sad to say it took 7 eggs to get 4 egg yolks.  I don't have an egg separator and I only had 10 eggs, so I didn't try to teach either of the boys the delicate art of separating eggs.

Eli helped make the heart cake batter, so much of what we did was a repeat for him.  This repetition is good, especially since there wasn't much time between the two projects.  He remembered a lot, and so required a little less supervision and instruction.  For instance, he remembered that we needed to beat the butter until it was light and fluffy.  Without my telling him, he slowly increased the speed of the mixer and reported to me about every 10 seconds, "It's getting bigger mom!  It's getting even bigger mom!  It's really big now mom!"  And then came the inevitable question, "Can I taste it?"  My heartbeat still creeps up a bit when I think of him sticking his finger in the bowl with the paddle still furiously rotating.  Everybody has a different reaction when they see their kids about to do something that could really injur them.  Mine is to lunge toward them while bellowing "NOOOOOOOO!!!!" at the top of my lungs.  This has happened to Eli so much it doesn't even phase him anymore.  It's not so much that I've over used it, as that he regularly does stuff that warrents such a reaction.

Believe it or not, these cooking sessions are a learning opportunity for me too.  For the most part I'm learning to relax a bit and let my kids explore and discover their own abilities in the kitchen instead of being so controlling.  It is very difficult for me to let my kids try to do things I'm not entirely sure they are capable of doing.  So every time Eli asks me if he can dump the cup of sugar in the bowl, I can feel my whole body tense up as I envision an entire cup of sugar being dumped all over the counter and floor.  I literally have to force myself to breathe, keep my eyes open and say with a smile, "Of course, go ahead!"  We all know that part of learning is making mistakes, but it's almost physically painful for me to let my kids make a mistake that is as messy as sugar all over the place.  In the end I could only relenquish a little control.  I let him dump the sugar, but I stood right next to him with my hand up against the bowl blocking any possible spills.  Of course this made him angry, but he quickly got over it when I reminded him that we needed to start the mixer to mix the sugar and butter together.  I let him report to me again while I got the flour and milk ready.  We had another round of "Can I taste it?" and "NOOOOO!!!" before we could move on to alternating adding the flour and milk.  Once the batter was finally mixed and ready to be made into cupcakes Eli finally got his taste.  I remember watching with dismay as my mother would practically clean all of the batter off the spoon and the beaters before she handed them to my brother and I.  It seemed like such a tease to only allow enough for one little taste, so I'm always sure to not be too thorough when scraping the spatula and mixing paddle.  Besides, it keeps him and his brother occupied long enough for me to get the batter spooned into those little paper cups.  I feel like I should be trying to teach them to do this too, but I'm just not yet ready to relenquish that much control.

Ninety percent of my days are hectic and over-scheduled.  More often than not, I feel like I am about two steps behind.  I was able to get the first batch of cupcakes in the oven, but then I had to leave the rest for my mom to finish.  I finally returned home that evening to 24 cupcakes waiting to be frosted and no frosting.  There was no time to make a frosting from scratch, so I asked Eric to get some on his way home from work.  Everytime I ask him to stop at the store for me, he never sighs or does an eye-roll that I can hear in his voice or feel through the phone, he always says, "Sure" and I'm very grateful for that.  I had grand plans of making little bugs on the top of each cupcake from assorted candies, but time ran short so they each got a quick sprinkle of blue sugar instead.  Never the less, Eli was very proud to present these cupcakes to his class the next day, and from what I hear he had a great party at school.

The longer I am a mother, the less I try to be super-mom.  A few years ago I would have not only stayed up into the wee hours of the night making those little candy bugs, but I also would have practically killed myself making a fantastic 3-D dinosaur cake for his birthday party at home.  As luck would have it, we went to Dairy Queen the night after Eli's school party, and the open page of their cake book showed a great looking T-Rex with a volcano in the background.  I figured it was a sign and ordered one right on the spot!  Eli didn't even miss the cake I didn't make.

Pizza Night!

Everybody has their family routines and traditions.  I know of a family that has pizza every Friday, tacos every Saturday and spaghetti every Sunday.  I can see how this kind of menu would be attractive in that it would make meal planning and grocery shopping very easy, but that kind of a schedule is way too regimented for me.  Besides, I would finally recover from the heartburn on Thursday only to have to start all over again!  How do these little family traditions start, and what keeps them going?  I remember a period during my childhood in which my father had started a movie night for my brother and I, complete with Dad's root beer, popcorn, and the latest 007 flick.  I don't know why we started.  Perhaps my mom needed some time to herself or my dad was just looking for something to do with the two of us that didn't involve rough housing.  Regardless of why it started, I loved it and greeted each Saturday with excitement and anticipation.  The time spent with my dad and my brother was exclusive and special and I drank up every moment.  All too quickly, our movie nights ended.  Was it the fighting over the popcorn?  Had we watched all the James Bond movies?  Maybe it was just that summer vacation started and we were too busy outdoors.  I don't know why we stopped, but I've always mourned its passing.

Several small things converged to make the creation of our make-ur-own pizza/movie night possible.  The first of which was the immergence of Redbox.  Once these fabulous ATM style movie dispensers popped up at our Walgreens and grocery store, one of my greatest needs was filled.  That would be the need to not go into a Blockbuster by myself with all 3 kids in tow.  The truth of the matter is, I hate running any errands with my kids.  Most of the time I just grit my teeth, steel my nerves and try to make the best of it, but there are a few places I refuse to visit unless I am alone.  I will not take my kids into a Halmark, craft supply shop, or movie rental place.  Period!  I'm aware that I've left out places like china and crystal shops, but seriously, I have no reason to ever go into those places, with or without children.

About the same time Redbox came out, my kids finally got old enough to sit through a movie.  Prior to this past year, I've had an infant to care for and little kids who were better entertained with activities and crafts.  They are also now old enough to actually participate in make-ur-own pizzas.  I've tried to do them in the past, and it was just too stressful trying to keep them from mixing the cheese with the sauce and sticking pepperoni to the fridge and basically turning my kitchen into one big pizza.  Any family activity needs to be fun for everyone if it is to be repeated, even something as simple as making pizza.

Finally, winter happened.  In the middle of the winter it gets dark about an hour after Abby gets home from school.  During these months of very little sunlight, more patience and creativity is required to keep them occupied and out of trouble.  By the time we get to Friday, the tension is running pretty high; we're all a little frazzled and in need of a break.  So, to break the monotony and take some time to relax and enjoy each others company, we started our own movie night, complete with pizza, chocolate milk, and the latest G rated movie.  It started as something we did occasionally and has grown into a regular Friday night event.  Even though the Redbox selections can't support weekly visits, we have plenty of DVD's to fill in the gaps. 

Now that we have fallen into a routine for Friday, it has become the easiest and most enjoyable day of my week.  I always seem to have my pizza supplies on hand and I have a Wolfgang Puck pizza dough recipe that never lets me down.  As long as I get it started by 2 pm, it will be ready by 5.  It's so simple to make:  you just dissolve 1 packet of yeast (2 1/4 teaspoons) in 1 cup of warm water.  Add 1 teaspoon of honey and 1 tablespoon olive oil.  Once those are all mixed, stir in 3 cups of all purpose flour and then kneed the dough for about 5 minutes until it is smooth and elastic.  Place the dough in a lightly oiled bowl and cover.  Let it rise until doubled in size and then turn it out and divide it into 4 equal pieces.  Roll each piece into a tight ball and then cover again until doubled in size.  The recipe is perfect for 4 personal sized pizzas.

Once we get home from picking Abby up from school, the kids have a little time to play while I get everything ready and preheat the oven and my baking stone to 500 degrees F.  I form their dough for them on pieces of parchment paper, lay out the pizza sauce, cheese and pepperoni to let them create their own masterpieces.  I like to believe that the regularity of pizza and movie night has lulled them into being nice to each other.  Whatever the reason, it has become one of the few times they don't argue over who's going first and who's turn it is to use the cheese and whether or not they got the same amount of pepperoni.  They are surprisingly polite and loving towards each other.  For this reason alone I will keep our new tradition alive.

Each of them has their own unique signature pizza.  I find this amazing considering that they all only want pepperoni!  Abby likes to painstakingly spread a thin layer of sauce over the entire circle of dough.  She only likes a little sprinkling of cheese, and then she makes a happy face out of pepperoni.  Eli on the other hand glops spoonfulls of sauce all over his dough and then strategically drops handfuls of cheese.  He then covers every square inch of his pizza with pepperoni while sneaking a few raw pieces to tide him over until it's cooked.  Jonah still requires a lot of help and supervision, but he likes an even layer of sauce and an even layer of cheese and then just a few pieces of pepperoni.  As soon as they are done decorating their dough, I get their movie started and set about cooking their pizzas.  The parchment paper serves two purposes, it cuts down on the mess and makes it easy to get the pizza into the oven without any fancy equipment or wrist-work.  I just slide a cookie sheet under the paper, transport the whole thing to the oven and then slide the pizzas, paper and all, onto the baking stone.  At 500 degrees, they cook in less than 10 minutes.  Once they've cooled, I slice them and bring them to the coffee table for the kids to eat.  It's the only time I allow them to eat outside of the kitchen and they are under strict instructions to stay off the couch and to bring me their plates and crusts when they are done.  They don't follow those instructions yet, but we're working on it.

Kids find comfort in routines, as do many adults.  Knowing what to expect and what will happen next is less exciting, but it provides a feeling of safety and security.  My kids have come to expect our Friday night pizza and movie tradition and just knowing that it's coming keeps them calmer and happier at a time when we could all use a little less stress.  For now I do the lion's share of the cooking.  I have plenty of time to teach them to make pizza from start to finish.  Without any real guidance from me they are learning something far more important.  They are learning to be gracious with each other and I can see lifelong bonds forming between them.  I don't know how they will remember these days once they are grown and have families of their own.  I hope they will realize the value of traditions and routines no matter how great or small.

You Can Lead a Child to Vegetables, But You Can't Make Him Eat!

You can find just as much literature on how to get your kid to eat a healthy and well-balanced diet as you can on potty training.  It is my belief that when that much advice is available in print it is a clear indicator that there are no good answers and that each child will respond differently to a particular technique.  Put simply, you're going to have to figure it out for yourself.  I've heard a lot about Deceptively Delicious over the years.  Those who use this cookbook love that they are fooling their kids into eating vegetables.  Personally, I don't really agree with this approach unless you desperately need to get the nutrients into your kid.  How can you get your kids to appreciate and even enjoy vegetables if you dress them up as dessert?  As with anything pertaining to kids, patience is the real key.  It takes a long time to develop a taste for something new.  I like to think that kids feel the same way about vegetables as adults do about beer; it's an acquired taste.  Each of my kids has, over a great deal of time, acquired a taste for something I thought for sure they would never eat.  So, it is possible!

When it comes to eating a well balanced meal, Abby gives me the least grief.  At about two, she started adding vegetables to her diet.  The process was slow and at times a little painful to watch.  Her first veg was green beans, but she didn't just pick up the bean and eat it, she pulled it apart and only ate the little beans inside.  It took me three years to get her to eat the whole thing.   It took over 5 years of offering brussel sprouts before she finally took a bite and said, "Mmmmmm, these are good!"  I had to employ every ounce of self control in my body to remain calm and reply, "yes, I know."  Elijah on the other hand has been a challenge from birth!  It took him several months just to get the hang of nursing, and the only baby food I could get him to eat was bananas.  In my opinion his eating habits were barely capable of sustaining life, and yet his doctor kept telling me he was a very healthy little boy.  He started with a menu that consisted of buttered noodles, bread with butter and french fries.  He viewed anything with color as poison.  So last year when he suddenly asked me for more strawberries, I nearly peed my pants with relief and excitement.  He has since added almost every fruit to his list of likes.  He still won't even touch a vegetable, but I'm holding out hope that he will surprise me one day.  Jonah falls somewhere in the middle of these two extremes.  He didn't start eating solids until he was nearly 10 months old, and he never did eat baby food.  He always insisted on eating table food, and he insisted on feeding himself.  This meant that he didn't get introduced to yogurt, soup or oatmeal until he was able to use a spoon fairly well!  He'll try nearly everything you put on his plate, but so far the vegetables get spit out.  This doesn't worry me in slightest.  He's not yet two years old, and my past experience has taught me to keep my expectations low.

I don't have all the answers, and I can't offer any tried and true, surefire techniques.  I can, however, throw out a few ideas to mingle with all of the other ideas floating around in your heads.  There is a pretty common belief out there that if you get your kids involved in meal preparation, they will be more inclined to eat whatever lands on the dinner table.  To a certain extent, this is true.  I once got Eli to lick a piece of purple cauliflower after he helped me break it apart for soup.  He didn't like it, and has yet to regain any trust in me when it comes to food, but he did try it and that was a small victory for me.  Obviously, I believe in getting my kids involved.  I have found that when they are driving me crazy with their fighting and their whining in the grocery store, soliciting their help in the produce aisle works wonders.  Picking out green beans is a great way to get them involved and keep them occupied for a few minutes.  I just show them an example of a good green bean and a bad one and then tell them to inspect each bean before they put it in the bag.  Not only am I getting them involved and preserving a bit of sanity, but I'm getting them familiar with vegetables in a way that is positive and non-threatening.  Thankfully, farmer's markets are popping up in nearly every community.  The atmosphere is fun and exciting, the people are friendly and samples are usually available.  I encourage you to find one and take your kids there regularly.  The same goes for gardening.  Most kids love the whole process of planting a seed and watching it sprout and grow into a plant.  The revelation that that plant will then produce a morsel of food that can be served up with dinner is an extraordinary and potentially powerful message.

Another way to get your child's attention is through color and patterns.  Something that exists on nearly every vegetable out there.  Think back to the purple cauliflower.  I originally bought it because it's color and texture absolutely captivated Elijah.  If you can't picture the details of a cauliflower's florets, take a good look next time you find yourself shopping for produce.  It's really a beautiful and intriguing looking veg.  If at all possible, try to work with colors that are your kids' favorites.  Abby's favorite color is pink, and she is tempted by radishes every time she sees them even though she knows, through painful experience, that they are very spicy.  Carrots catch Jonah's eye and draw him in as do red bell peppers.  He's usually brave and samples a bite or two before spitting it all out on the floor.  I'm hoping this is part of the process of acquiring the taste for these delectable treats.  We've all heard of broccoli and asparagus being referred to as little trees.  I wish I could come up with more of these imaginative comparisons for my kids, but when I look at an eggplant, all I see is an eggplant.

Although I don't agree with dressing vegetables in sheep's clothing, I am definately in favor of pairing them with something more likable.  If your kid already likes mashed potatoes, feel free to add some mashed cauliflower or parsnip.  In fact, you can do this with just about any root vegetable.  They all will change the flavor and texture of the mashed potatoes, so it's not a sneaky trick, it's a new adventure!  And if you're feeling really adventurous add a little food coloring.  (Maybe some green mashed potatoes and turnips for St. Patty's Day?)    I once received a recipe for apple and parsnip soup that my kids actually liked, so I thought it was pretty comical that I didn't really care for it!  Like potatoes, apples go well with a whole laundry list of foods including vegetables.  Don't be afraid to get creative.  A more recognizable pairing would be drizzling cheese sauce over broccoli.  I've tried this only to have my kids slurp up every drop of the cheese and leave those poor little trees completely intact.  If I wasn't so infuriated, I would have been impressed.  Another common vegetable partner is dip.  As in carrot sticks dipped in ranch dressing.  The vast majority of kids in this country think ranch dressing is delicious.  Mine prefer ketchup and soy sauce.  So much so that these two condiments have been promoted to side dish, and therefore must be purchased in bulk.  It may gross you out to watch your darling angel dip celery in ketchup or peas in soy sauce, (I know it does me) but you should delight in the fact that they are finding a way to like their vegetables.  Most likely, these odd pairings won't stand the test of time.  I remember once thinking that wine coolers tasted good.

Lastly, lead by example.  Do you eat your vegetables last or with little enthusiasm?  If you pick half-heartedly at your salad, how can you expect your kids to devour theirs?  Over the past few years I've made a conscious effort to not only make my servings of vegetables larger than the protien and starch on my plate, but to also eat them first.  I can't say that my kids now gobble up their veggies before even taking one bite of their hot dogs.  Quite the opposite, they snarf down their hot dogs and are then "too full" for peas.  But I know they are watching me, and my end goal is to show them that vegetables are not the enemy.

High Expectations Can Only Lead to Disappointment

What kid doesn't like chicken nuggets?  Mine absolutely love them and, strangely, don't really care for cheeseburgers.  Weird, I know.  This love of little breaded and fried chunks of chicken has sent me on a quest to make them at home many times.  Not every time has been a complete failure, but I have yet to achieve complete success.  Although they don't say it, I can see that my kids are all thinking, "these aren't as good as McDonald's."  My biggest obstacle in trying to recreate the ultimate nugget is that I abhor the process of deep frying.  Just the thought of glugging oil into a pan sends my blood pressure into an upward trend.  I realize it's not that big of a deal to other cooks, it's just not for me.  The problem is, baked chicken nuggets will never measure up to the likes of McDonald's or Chic-fil-A.  About a year ago, I had pretty much given up and resigned myself to just buying the big bags of popcorn chicken at Costco and occasionally, (more often than I like to admit) hitting the drive-thru.  Until this week, that is.

Through some correspondence with an old friend, I've been graced with a recipe for chicken nuggets using ground turkey.  It's something I haven't tried yet, and her very picky girls love them.  It seemed so simple: ground turkey meat balls dredged in flour, dipped in egg, rolled in bread crumbs and then flattened onto a baking sheet.  Bake until crispy and cooked through.   Since I was headed to the grocery store anyway, I just added ground turkey and bread crumbs to my list.  My expectations of the experience were already forming in my head, which was my first mistake.  Knowing my kids, I don't know how I managed to conjur up this idyllic image of the four of us standing calmly at the counter, happily making these little turkey meatball nugget things in an assembly-line fashion, but that was the picture in my head when we got started.  Though it felt like things started to go horribly wrong almost instantly, I now realize that my expectations were so high, the only direction we could go was down.  My children are super-cute and have angelic moments, but they are not suitable subjects for a Norman Rockwell painting!

My friend doesn't do anything to the turkey because her girls, and I quote, "like their food as boring as possible."  I was going to leave the turkey alone too, but before I knew it I had added some salt, pepper, garlic powder, onion powder and a little worcestershire sauce.  I just couldn't help myself.  As I mixed in all of my little additions, I could sense the impending doom.  If you've never worked with ground poultry before, (and I hadn't) let me tell you now that it is nothing like ground beef.  It is a lot looser and very sticky.  My first attempt at rolling this stuff into a ball left my hands coated in turkey glue and my brain scrambling to figure out how to get through this project without having to make a trip to McDonald's.  I decided to just pull off a chunk of the ground meat and roll it in the flour without trying to shape it.  Thankfully, this solution worked.  Once covered in a little flour, the mixture was much more manageable.  Dipping the little chunks in the egg and then coating them in the bread crumbs was relatively easy.  As I flattened this first breaded turkey chunk on the baking sheet, I was overjoyed to see that it looked just like a commercial chicken nugget!  So now it was time to get the kids involved. 

I often imagine myself calling to my children in this melodic June Cleaver voice and having them obediently come running to form a perfect little line in front of me.  I did sweetly call to them, but none of my kids came running.  In fact, they flat out ignored me!  Again with the ridiculous expectations leading me down a path of disappointment.  When I resorted to my mom voice which is much deeper and has a growling undertone, two of the little voices yelled back,"What!"  So much for Hollywood's version of family life.  I had to resort to yelling at them through the window that it was time to come in and help me make dinner.  I have no idea what my neighbors were thinking, but I doubt it was "Awwwww, how nice that she has them help her prepare dinner!"

Once I got them in and set up at their flour, egg and bread stations the arguing and whining commenced.  They wanted to do the whole process themselves, not just one part.  This actually sounded fine, so I decided to have them take turns.  Anytime we have to take turns, there is always an argument as to who will go first, and this time was no different.  I could feel precious minutes slipping away from me, so I just picked Abby to go first because she is the oldest.  (I usually try to be more fair)  I explained the steps to her slowly, clearly and concisely, and she retained none of the information.  So I led her through the process step by step.  After all, it is much easier to learn by doing.  Our first nugget took over a minute to complete, but I will say she did a great job and had a huge smile on her face while she flattened her meatball into a nugget shaped pancake.  Eli went next and while the process was a little messier and a lot slower, he too did very well and loved the smashing part.  The baby, also known as Jonah, insisted on having a turn as well, and with one swift movement he dumped a handfull of bread crumbs into the egg.  Needless to say, he was sent away with a cracker and my voice echoing behind him, "No more turns for you buster!"  Ok, so I was a little cranky at this point.  Dinner time was looming above me and I could tell that we would never eat if I didn't hurry this process along.  We were 10 minutes in and 2 nuggets down.  Since both of my older kids didn't really care for the turkey flouring or egging, I took over these two steps and left the breading and smashing to them.  Finally we were getting somewhere!  Fifteen minutes later we were all coated with turkey, flour, egg and bread crumbs, the baking sheet was full of cute little nuggets, the kitchen was an absolute disaster zone, and I was in desperate need of a drink.

My kitchen still shows some of the signs of this little experiment.  I keep stepping on runaway bread crumbs and finding little dustings of flour, and there is something on my ceiling that wasn't there before.  But, I have to say, the end product was delicious, and that my friend was right to not add anything to the turkey.  Everytime my kids took a bite they would look at me with suspiscion.  My daughter even looked at Elijah and said, "they're really good with lots of ketchup."  Even though the experience was a little harrowing for me, I did learn a few things.  When it comes to ground poultry and adding little hands to dredging, egging and breading, I'm a little wiser.  I've been reminded that while my children are not the perfect little cherubs that Hollywood depicts, they are perfect, and as long as I can keep my imagination and expectations in check, they will never disappoint me.  To my friend who provided the recipe, you know who you are, "Thanks, I think."

Heart Shaped Cakes and a Fear of Frosting

Two years ago I tried to make a heart cake for Valentine's Day.  I thought it would be relatively easy and not too messy, but still tons of fun for the kids.  I began armed with a boxed cake mix, a can of frosting, and some heart shaped sprinkles. Everything went smoothly until it came time to apply the frosting. In a matter of minutes my beautiful, moist, heart-shaped cake turned into a big blob of frosting and crumbs.  Fortunately, my kids didn't care what the end product looked like.  They raved about how delicious it was and how much fun it was to make.  I was not as satisfied.  After a little research, I learned that cakes made from scratch are more dense than cakes made from mixes, which makes them less likely to dissintigrate when they come into contact with a novice froster.  I also learned that frosting made from scratch is thinner than the kind sold in a can and is, therefore, easier to spread without ripping the cake to shreds.  Who knew? 

I'm a bit of a perfectionist, and that failed heart cake made me swear off cakes for good.  Until now.  I'm usually not one of those people who spouts a bunch of nonsense about facing and conquering your fears before jumping off a tall bridge with only a big rubber band attached to my ankles.  I'm pretty sure that fear is what keeps us alive a lot of times.  But this is a cake for crying out loud!  It is time I conquered my cake decorating fears once and for all!  Besides, my kids need to work with some recipes that require a bit of precision and a gentle touch.  Measuring and folding help to develop fine motor skills and my kids could definately use the practice.

Several years ago I learned that baked goods made with buttermilk are much more forgiving than their counterparts.  (Thanks Mom!)  So we will be using a recipe for buttermilk cake out of my Joy of Cooking cookbook.  Lately I've been determined to get my daughter, Abby, to work on her reading.  It drives me crazy that she doesn't believe that she can read when I know that she can.  So, with the patience of Job and the iron will of the Hulk, I began by having her read the title of the recipe: Buttermilk Layer Cake.  She started out a little intimidated by the number of letters in buttermilk, but once she got past that monster word, she read the last two with confidence.  Whew!  That was easier than I thought.  The next thing that I want to start teaching her is how to read measurments, and then how to translate those into the various sized cups and spoons I have in my drawer.  We definately need work in this area.  She read 1 1/2 teaspoons as "11 and 2, so 13 teaspoons".  I'm thrilled that her math skills are intact, but that much baking powder would have produced an inedible cake!  It took about 10 minutes to assemble all of the dry ingredients.  I had visions of my kitchen being covered in a fine white powder, but she managed to measure everything without flinging any of it across the room. 

Although Abby was engrossed with the beginning process of making this cake, she lost interest after the dry ingredients and flitted away to play with her Barbies.  I think she found the reading and math lessons a little too much like work and not enough like play.  My 3 year old son, Eli, was happy to take her place.  This changing of the guards isn't as easy as you might think.  Abby is a 6 year old girl who can happily and quietly play with Pet Shops and Polly Pockets for hours.  Eli is a 3 year old boy who not only has the attention span of a gnat, but whose movements seem like a cross between an elephant and a hummingbird.  In order to accomodate that attention span, I need to mentally switch gears in the time it takes to change out their stools.  The key to working with little boys is to always have a task for them.  As long as they are doing something, they are able to be somewhat still and focused.  So, I get Eli started unwrapping butter sticks.  Not only is he busy, but he is working on developing those fine motor skills.  As soon as he is done, I have him throw the butter in the mixer and get him going on cracking eggs.  Oddly enough, most kids are able to crack an egg on a counter top without smashing it to smitherines at a pretty young age.  It's the separating of the shell from the insides that presents problems.  I'm not yet ready to work on this particular skill with my son.

Once the mixer is going, it's easy to keep Eli focused by simply having him keep an eye on it.  He's actually very good at answering questions about color and consistancy.  "Is it the same color as the inside of a lemon yet?"  His excited voice answers back, "Yes, mom.  And it's getting bigger too!"  This would mean that the butter and sugar have creamed until fluffy and lighter in color.  The hardest time to keep his focus is when we are alternating adding the buttermilk and the dry ingredients.  At this point he can barely keep his wits about him as he is just waiting to lick the spoon.  Amazingly, Abby reappears at the very moment I'm ready to pour the batter into the cake pans.  She wants to lick the spoon too.  I had thought to do some instruction about the proper way to evenly separate the batter into two pans, but since I don't actually know how to do that other than by eyeballing it, I sent both kids off to entertain their younger brother.

Our hectic lives prevented us from finishing our project.  Both cakes are safely wrapped and waiting to be frosted tomorrow.  I can still feel a twinge of fear when I think of cutting these cakes into the shape of a heart and trying to gently encase them with frosting.  But, today was such a success that I'm able to push it down and move forward with confidence.  As a dear friend once told me, sometimes you just need to do well at something you don't find too difficult before you can tackle something that's a bit harder and a bit scarier.  You see, baking the cake was never the problem for me, it's frosting the cake that scares me.  And even if I end up destroying that cake tomorrow with my heavy handed frosting abilities, I'll probably give it another shot next year.  Although I'll probably look into covering it with whipped cream instead or butter cream!

Special Rules, Special Tools, and Eyes Wide Open!

There are some special considerations to take when including children in meal preparation.  Sharp knives, hot burners and blazing ovens present some very real hazards.  Not to mention the fact that kitchens are designed for adults who are at least 5 feet tall.  So how do we accomadate short legs, developing motor skills, and no judgement?  The only way I know how is with some special rules, some special tools, and eyes wide open.

The presentation I attended a few months ago provided me with a couple of solutions that have proved invaluble thus far.  The first of which dealt with the short leg issue.  How do you teach a kid who is 3 - 4 feet tall to do anything in a kitchen where the countertops are barely at eye level?  The first thought that might come to mind is, very simply, a chair.  Don't think I hadn't thought of this myself, I just found early on that it really didn't work.  I don't know about your kitchen chairs, but mine don't exactly grip the floor.  They are meant to glide easily in and out of place.  So here is my first rule: If they can slide it across the floor, they shouldn't be standing on it!  The reasons for this rule should be obvious.  For these same reasons, I don't like to move much work to the kitchen table.  A sturdy step stool that has rubber grippers on the feet, and a non-skid surface for them to stand on is essential.  It is also essential that those little chefs be raised up to about waist height over those countertops.  They need to be able to get over their work.  This will put them in the best position to stir without spilling and get enough leverage to chop fruit and vegetables properly.  Basically, they need to be able to see what they are doing just as you do.  If you don't believe me, next time you prepare a meal, try to do it while crouching down so the counter top is about chest level.

There are several suitable options for this sturdy step stool, and the prices range anywhere from $15 to $100.  Like most young and growing families, we live on a pretty tight budget, so we chose two good, step
ladder type, stools made by Rubbermade.  The cost for both was under $50.  These fold up nearly flat for storage and when unfolded, they lock into position.  They are solid, heavy, and they have steps that are big enough for an adult to stand on comfortably.  We needed two different stools because we have 3 kids of varying heights.  If you have a larger budget and a larger kitchen, Pottery Barn has a nicely made stand that can be adjusted as your child grows.  I have seen these in other people's homes and I love them.  If you are leaning towards the stand, you should consider that although two kids can fit on one stand, they end up being a bit too close to each other and would also need to be about the same height.  The only other thing to consider is that the stand is more or less a permanent structure.  It's not easily broken down and put away, so it needs to be able to stay wherever it is set up until your kids are about 12 years old.

The second issue that was addressed is the sharp knife issue.  We have all learned, (usually the hard way) that if you run a very sharp edge across your skin at a certain angle, it will result in a deep cut and lots of blood; lots of pain shortly follows.  This knowledge is almost second nature for anyone 8 and up, but for those little souls who are under 8, the deep cut, blood and pain are a pretty big surprise.  Any parent would worry about the damage that a sharp knife could do to their kids, and I'm no different.  Especially after watching them weild their silverware at an average meal.  I have watched all of my kids poke themselves in the eye and ear with both spoons and forks, as well as draw these supposedly safe utensils across their necks, so there is no way I am putting a well honed blade into their hands!  Fortunately, some genius inventor out there had those same thoughts and came up with a tool called the Kiddie Food Kutter.  This little kiddie knife looks like a paring knife with a very dull, wavy blade.  The handle is the perfect size for little hands, and the "blade" is duller than a butter knife.  The wavy part  kind of mimics a serrated knife in a cartoony kind of way.  When I first saw this thing, I actually burst out laughing.  I honestly thought there was no way anyone could cut anything but a banana with it!  But the amazing lady who was giving this presentation proceeded to quell all doubt by cutting potatoes and carrots with it.  Needless to say, I was convinced.  The only two places where I've been able to find these knives are kiddiefoodkutter.com and Pampered Chef.  Solely for financial reasons, I chose the Pampered chef version.  Although my kids could still put out their eyes with them, there is no possible way they can cut themselves, or each other for that matter.  They are safely able to learn how to cut anything but meat, and hopefully the difference between large chunks and a small dice.

There are literally hundreds of things to think about when you have little kids in a kitchen, but many of them should be common sense and are covered under this next rule: never leave your children unsupervised.  Kids don't come with a highly developed sense of self-preservation, nor are they very coordinated.  I have watched my kids spontaneously fall down, trip on lint, walk into walls, check to see if a fire is hot, chat up creepy looking strangers, eat candy found in an aiplane lavatory, and lick a public phone.  Many times when their grandparents are gushing about how smart they are, these are the images that come to mind.  While children are virtual sponges who absorb new information so fast most of us can barely keep up, I wouldn't exactly call them smart.  You don't need to treat them like the village idiot, but you should communicate with your kids, give them the guidelines before trouble is imminent, and don't let your guard down.  Warn them that you are going to open the oven and that it is very hot and can hurt them.  Yes, you need to do this every time.  Tell them, before you even get started, that only grown-ups get to touch sharp knives and that if they choose to disregard any of the kitchen's rules, the consequences will be immediate.  Yes, you need to do this every time.  Stay alert and keep your eyes wide open.  If you need to leave the kitchen for any reason while burners are on or knives are resting on counters, take the kids with you.  Yes, you need to do this every time! 

Teaching your kids and helping them to grow and mature will always be at odds with keeping them safe and un-maimed.  Nearly every aspect of parenting that I know of, is a balancing act.  I am always trying to balance letting them have the room to explore and learn with keeping them out of harms way.  Sometimes it's pretty easy, and other times it's very hard.  With proper preparation, a couple of specialized tools and nerves of steel, teaching your kids to cook can be fun and safe for all of you.